Rejection

There are may reasons while Jill doesn't want a second date. I could have been to old ( not my fault and nothing I can do about it) I wasn't outgoing enough (this could be true but it's something that is I'm definitely improving on. I was a much better date this time than any I had been on before especially as it was a blind date. ) The way I look ( nothing I can do about this either except to say I am 1000% better looking than I was and again I'm improving all the time with the way I handle my new body) These reasons are all superficial they aren't anything deep, she only spent a few hours with me and I behaved like a gentleman through out. I paid for the whole date and I wasn't pushy. There is no real reason for me to feel down or rejected not for these reasons if we had been dating for 5 years and she rejected me then fine that's another matter completely but all logic and reason says what I have put myself through this week is an over reaction. This message is to my sub-conscious STOP OVER REACTING AND MAKING MORE OF A LITTLE REJECTION THAN IS REASONABLE PLEASE.

Today is the first morning of being over my 3 day binge I think I have found the reason that started it the fact Jill didn't want a second date as listed above. It took me 3 days to realise this as consciously I was / am feeling fine this was a deeper sub- conscious process thast just took over and lead to me doing what I have done in the past and comfort binged my way through it. I'm going to deal with my sub- concious mind on Saturday with Mohamed, I'm hoping we can look back at my feekings of rejection and go and look at it from all angles and I can deal with it in a different way and show my sub-concious a different way in future.

Today I'm taking all my money from my house and getting a freind to hold it for me so there won't be any binging tonight or today while at work. Tonight I'm going to go cycling and I'll be doing the same tomorrow. I'll see how I feel Saturday before agreeing to go out for a few beers I'm cycling on Sunday with Richard and I need to just take it easy on myself at the moment. I'm not going to feel down or punish myself for the last 3 days as long as I learn from the experience then it's not wasted. There is some great stuff on minimums this week on self sabotage that I'm reading and trying to take on board.