Going up and down around the 14 st mark. I wish I could just drop that 5- 6 lbs and then sit happily at around 13 st 7 lbs. If I just stick with it I'll get there I'm doing good at the moment and it does depend what I eat. I have definitely got to stay away from cookies they seam to add weight straight away and I need to exercise more in the week, cycling to work is good but it's not really enough to work myself properly like I will do today. Last night went well and I am really finding social situations are getting easier I should really had stayed last night and enjoyed the rest of the evening, it was an old habit that meant that I wanted to leave early but this will improve with practice I am sure. I'm going cycling this morning with Richard and then I'm meeting up with Ray for the Brick lane festival, which promises to be interesting and will keep me busy for the day.
My session yesterday went very wel and while looking at sadness I actually went back to when I was born and the way I felt sad durring that time, I did spend alot of time in an incubator when I was first born and I'm guessing it was that which led to the feelings I had. Mohamed said they were probably other peoples feeling around me that were being pushed in my direction and I was picking them up.Thinking about it there was a lot of sadness around when I was born there was the time I was actually born and was very ill, then my older cousin died when I was 3, he was born with holes in his heart. I dont really remember him but I did remember feeling really sad around this time. My brother was being born also around this time and according to mum she was in hospital for a long time before he was born, again more sadness on my part although to be fare I didn't really get that yesterday so maybe it will be another feeling. Next week we will be looking at Fear I'm not really sure where looking at this will lead. I'm starting to build a picture of my timeline when I'm looking at it which is pretty interesting, I always though I had a good imagination but lately I don't seasm to be able to picture things in my mind like I used to, I'm still trying to practice at this though.