Holiday time....

I'm off on holiday tomorrow, 2 weeks in Thailand and I'm so looking forward to it. I'm going with my best mate, we are going to travel round some as well but basically I'm looking forward to some warm sun and relaxation. I had the best start to it last night when I went for a weigh in at my Lighter life group I'm still maintaining my weight which is fantastic I'm so proud of myself. The best thing is I have gained muscle from all the exercise I'm doing so I have lost fat content top stay the same weight. It's going to take time to lose my love handles but I have the incentive now to keep doing what I've been doing as it works. I'm going to say it again I'm very proud of myself.

Clocks gone back

Had a great night out last night, met some old friends for a meal and some drinks. I felt comfortable all evening which was really nice. I met someone who has ridden to Paris as well which was very interesting, hopefully I'll get to meet up with him again as it would be very good to chat more about it. I'm going to go for a swim this morning as the weather isn't the best, the plan is to start swimming more in the week so this morning will be a good opportunity to see how I get on. I'm hoping to swim for 30-40 mins along with some exercise before I leave and cycling there and back I think it will count as a good workout. It was so nice getting compliments about my weight last night, I'm doing the exercise for me but compliments are always an added bonus. My aim is to change my body shape which will take time but I'm choosing to do it and I'm going to succeed. My love handles will be gone eventually they are being pretty stubborn though lol. I need to be doing my reading again in the mornings and my blogging as well, I can sometimes let it go astray but I just need to remind myself to do it. I was trying to use the mirroring technique last night it felt a bit strange but I think I managed it for several brief moments, it definitely takes me out of my comfort zone but I have got my holiday to work at it and get used to doing it.

Had a great night last night I need to try and work on my conversation skills though. I'm amazed how tactile I was, very touchy feely I think I was ok though and didn't make anyone feel uncomfortable. There were some very nice young ladies there and I'm intending to stay in touch via face book. I did very well coming home and didn't going buying any crap food. I did have mixed seafood when I got home though which was to close to bed time but it was ok. I'm heading out cycling this morning, it's very cold out though I have even put my heating on. I'm going to meet Ray up in Islington later for the rugby world cup final. I'm hoping to go for a cycle in the morning as well but it will only be a 20 mile one. I have got to work tomorrow, driving up to Liverpool ready for unloading on Monday morning. The instruction has been given for them to hire another driver so hopefully when they have I can get back to running my warehouse. Only 2 weeks until my holiday, I can so not wait it will be here very soon I'm confident I'm going to have a great time. It will be good to spend time with my best friend Ray. It's quite good the way I'm feeling at the moment especially after some exercising, I get a real buzz in the mornings after the cycle and exercise session, I'm going to try and keep it going into my future I like the new fit me and I'm going to keep it up.

Thursday update

Had a good day but had to work hard, food wise I'm doing really well I'm very proud of myself. As for the exercise I'm doing fantastically this morning I completed 45 proper press-ups 100 up right crunches 100 on the spot running things followed by cycling to work, once there I did another 30 press-ups and 70 proper crunches. It definitely makes me feel amazing and even a couple of people at work noticed commenting was I on speed. I had chicken breasts with cold beans and sweet corn with a baked potato. I'm going shopping in a bit I'm not really concerned about it except I would like to treat myself with some cookies I know with the way I have been behaving this week then it wouldn't hurt for me to have it. I'm going to see how I feel when I'm there but if I am tempted then I'm just going to enjoy them.
I attempted to listen to a P mckenna cd last night but fell a sleep 5 minutes in, it is being recomended by someone on a forum that I visit. I'l give it another go later on tonight. I have got a busy weekend ahead which I'm really looking forward to. I haven't got a session with Mohamed this week but I think the break will be rewarding. I have got to have a look at self sabotage before next week. I will make time this week to have a look at this.

Having a good week so far, I have worked lots of hours which is a pain but the money will be nice for my holiday so I'm not complaining. The funny thing is I haven't felt tired at all and I haven't felt hungry either which considering I have been out driving is a nice change that makes things a lot easier to deal with. I spent the night out in the lorry Monday night which was my first one for nearly 2 years, I slept well but it's not something that I miss at all. I'm keeping my exercise regime up and I'm sure that is something to do with my new found energy. It is something I'm intending to keep part of my daily routine. I must try and find a way of implementing it on days when I'm not cycling though along with some more exercise to get it nearer an hour.
Funny how things we use to do without suddenly become so important my mobile went flat yesterday and I was completely lost without it even though it doesn't ring that often during the day it was very weird being without it. Food wise I have done really well this week so far, I need to try and just have 1 muller rice in the evening though rather than 2 but apart from that my mood and my food intake have remained level. I'm going to post a picture finally I know it's been longer than I said but better late than never I guess. It was taken on Sunday just before I set off on my great cycle back from Worthing. I hate photos being taken of me and I never think I look that great in them but I have to admit I don't think I look to bad.
I nearly forgot I saw customers yesterday when I was out delivering that I hadn't seen for nearly 2 years and they nearly didn't recognise me, they couldn't get over how young I looked and how slim I was. I guess although sometimes I don't see it myself I have obviously changed for the better and it's about time I stared taking that on board and dealing with it. The nice thing in that is the little bit of weight I'm trying to lose now is just a mindd thing rather than a physical need, which means I can do it in a sensible manner rather than having to panic.

goals.

Wow !!!!! I have just cycled back from Durrington, a total of 50 miles in a fantastic 3 hrs 4 mins an average speed of 16.4 mph. I worked really hard and my heart rate was an average of 138 beats per minute which is a great average and I was in the target range for 3 hrs out of 3 hrs 30 minutes. I am so proud of myself for the way I kept my head down and worked at reaching my goal of getting home. This is a real example to myself of how I can reach goals that I set myself and in fact exceed the goal that I set myself. It is about time that I started getting more pleasure from succeeding at goals I reach rather than wollowing in the greatness of failure. I am going to shout about my seccesses from now on.

3 week target

I'm going to head back to basics for the next 3 weeks, taking things 1 day at a time. I'm going to do a weeks shopping, making sure I have everything I require for the week and then I'm going to leave my wallet out of my reach. I know if I keep exercising and eat sensibly then I can lose weight and get to where I'm choosing to be namely 13 st 7 lbs. I realize that I have basically had a full week of over eating, just because I'm buying little cubes of dark chocolate it doesn't help when I eat 10 or 12 cubes a night. Same as cheese I cannot just come home and head to the fridge and break off lumps of it and eat it. Biscuits I know I have just pigged out on this week. Last night I went out of control I over ate a lot and for what reason oh yeah I had put on a few pounds I really need to get to the bottom of that equation... Weigh myself = putting on 4 pounds = binging on donuts, cookies and mince pies.
I'm punishing myself for putting on the weight that much is obvious, what I don't understand is why I should do that. Even with the extra lbs I look great and I feel great as well. I'm working hard at exercising , I'm wondering if the fact that I have been choosing to eat the right foods which I suppose isn't really true I have pretty much had a binge once a week although this week I've had about 3 hence the putting on 4 lbs. So maybe that's what I need to do to show myself that if I eat well without binging I can maintain or lose weight sensibly. I am going to set myself a target of no binging for the next 3 weeks. I'm going to make it as easy on myself as I possibly can, it's not going to be about testing myself by having money lying about or chocolate in the fridge. I'm going to make it as easy as I possibly can, leaving my wallet at work and only having food in the fridge that my adult side has chosen to put there. I'm not going to starve myself I will have a choice pastas, rices or couscous available for each day and make sure I have at least 1 of them for lunch. In the evenings I will eat well and follow it with a walk again like I was doing before. I will work through this with Mohamed on Saturday, I want to get to the bottom of my behaviour and find out what's going on. I'm not going to weigh myself till I go to LL again in 3 weeks and when I go there that night I will not have any money with me, I will not put myself in the situation where the result can lead to my punishing or rewarding myself by binging.