thoughtful..

I've been cycling this morning and done 18 miles in all. I'm just having some raw vegetables for my morning snack. I really enjoyed my cycle ride and got a sweat up as well so its all good. I'm thinking that my body/ brain is looking for bounderies I ate loads last weekend but yet diden't put any weight on and I think it's confused me and is allowing me to eat to much because I haven't got any rules or bounderies to keep within. I had a good kip for an hour and feel good. I'm going to head down to Kent after lunch.

things to deal with...

Up very early as normal, just had blueberries, pear and creme freche for breakfast, I'm going for a long cycle at 7. I'm definitely having problems in the evenings with my food intake. I don't believe it's down to boredom I'm leaning towards the fact that I'm sabotaging myself and that's a worrying development. I will have to talk to Jo about this and give it some real thought as to the reasons behind it. I have noticed myself trying to tell me that it's because of all the exercise I'm doing and my body is demanding the extra calorie intake. This is rubbish and I'm going to ignore that thought it is crooked. I'm going to choose to watch my eating in the evenings and hopefully start to deal with it better from now on. I'm going to stay positive though my new exercise regime is doing me really well.

Oh dear had a grazing evening tonight, I've eaten a big bag of dried fruit, some nuts, 400g yeo
yogurt plus fruit. I walked 4 miles earlier then came home and went mad I really don't know what came over me. I felt hungry though and only now do I feel really full up. I'm going cycling in the morning. I really need to give this some thought I need strategies to deal with this and soon otherwise I'm going to start putting weight on. Is that what's going on? Is it me self sabotaging myself? I think it could be that and there's no reason for me to do it. I think also it's my body pushing bounderies trying to get to the point where I actually put some weight on. This isn't the way to go though, eating everything I did tonight was just daft and not a good choice to make.

I'm going to be good now the rest of the weekend, its my choice to do this and I'm choosing not to sabotage myself anymore.

getting the munchies

I've got the munchies tonight I'm feeling full, I just got that taste in my mouth I've just had a chocolate shake and a food bar but I really fancy another food bar but I'm not going to have anything its my bed very soon. I had a good day today things went well. I cycled 13 miles all together and walked a couple this evening as well. The weigh in last night go me a huge boost to be honest, I was kind of worried I'd put some on. It's good that I can excersice and limit any weight gain caused by eating well. Thankfully it's Friday tomorrow, it's been a long week I've done over 60 hours this week.

very happy.

Went for my lighter life wiegh in tonight, and after all the trials of the weekend, had the great surprise of losing another half a pound. I'm so very pleased and although it doesn't mean I can go silly it does show that providing I make the right choices the majority of the time and keep up the exercise I'm doing then I'l hopefully become a skilled weight manager.
Work wise I had some greif and I did rather go on the defensive more than I should, I'll need to apologise to Estha tomorrow and sit the lads down and explain to them the reason for doing it differently than before. I'm looking forward to the weekend I am going down Kent for Saturday night which will be a nice change hopefully. I got my car back finally and thankfully thecruise control now works, I'm now going to push for some compensation and see what they come back with. I went shopping tonight and bought lots of fruit to keep me going for the next week or so. This is such a great time for fruit I'l have to give some thought to the future when the really nice fruit are out of season. I think apples will continue to be nice as will oranges. I got an early start tomorrow (up at 355 am ) so I'm off now.

back on the level

I got my level back to normal finally, Ive had a good day, although may possibly have eaten abit to much in terms of fruit and raw vegetables. It's still a learning process I had strawberries, raspberries, blueberries and a nectarine sliced up for breakfast. I had mixed raw vegetables consisting of pepper, spring onion, celery and asparagus with low calorie dip. For my protein meal at lunchtime I had cured sausage that I bought from a french market at the weekend with mixed salad. Tonight I've had tuna steak with ratatouille I made myself.
I didn't cycle to work today due to high winds, so I'm going to go out tonight for a while and do some circuits which I usually walk I'm intending to do around 4 of them making for 8 miles. I get my car back tomorrow after I got onto peugeot head office, funny it only took 2 days from calling them. I'm going to get onto the dealer for some compensation, according to peugeot customer care the delays are al down to the dealership and they are who I should go after.
After I've been cycling I'll have some fruit with my shake tonight. I get abit of a lay in tomorrow I haven't got to get up till 5. I'll be driving into work tomorrow because I got my weigh in tomorrow after work. I'm again a little nervous about it because I really don't know what will happen when I step on the scales. I'm hoping that I haven't put on to much, if I indeed have in my dream world I'd still have lost a pound or 2 but that is doubtful I think but as I say I haven't really got a clue.

the day after....

Things looking better today after a testing weekend, I'm back on the program again and I'm hoping that the extra cycling I did yesterday will mean that I haven't put on any weight this week. I cycled 11 miles today to work and home and I'm going out for a walk shortly.
Feelings wise I'm pretty mellow today I still got some issues to work through, I had a nice dinner tonight consisting of chicken breast, asparagus, aubergine and some cured garlic sausage. Followed by 2 nana shakes and strawberries, the pudding was an indulgence but I'm full up now.
During the day I had raw vegetables and a salad with sirloin steak for lunch, I'm finding the 2 protein meals a day more than I want to eat I'm going to have a smaller portion tomorrow for lunch and see if that's easier.
The weekend scared me some what, seeing how easily I fell back into old eating habits. My reaction though was really to extreme for what was happening I was to hard on myself and that made me worse it was a bit of a chain reaction. I did the correct thing Sunday by going out for a 20 mile ride, eating chocolate Saturday night was an over reaction and made the over eating worse. I'm going to put this weekend down to experience and learn from it and move forward.

I've had a bad day today, I'm feeling pretty down and have comfort eaten my way through the day. I'm aiming to get back on track again tomorrow. I'll be going out for a walk shortly probably around 3 miles then an early night. I'm just going to put this weekend down to experience and move on. I'll hopefully get some help from my LLC when I go there on Wednesday.

I have just got home from a 20 mile bike ride, so feeling a little better about myself now. I realise where I went wrong yesterday, I didn't leave the kitchen, didn't put my food ona plate early on just grabbed from the main serving dishes and finally didn't go and sit down when the main food was served I stood with my plate in the kitchen and kept topping it up. As for the chocolate on the way home I was rebelling against Mum telling me I was over eating. I'm a grazer when it comes to food and I need to make sensible choices to deal with it. I have strategies in place for being at home but I left them there yesterday rather than take them to the party. I find group events very stressful and again I have got to find out ways of dealing with it.

Fallen off the wagon big time today, had a family bbq and really over ate, truth be known I'm a shamed of myself I just kept stuffing my face, to start with keeping to protein and vegetables but in the end I ate cream, merranges and then chocolate on the way home. I'l never be as good as my brother, he has it all, luvly family nice house.. everything. Where as me I'l be expected to fail and I'd hate to disapoint them all. I made myself sick tonight so hopefully I've limited the damage it's up to me to get back on track though, I'm going cycling when I get up then drop Mum off and go walking and just have shakes tomorrow and thats all. I have got to start making different choices.

Day 2.. Cont

had an interesting and eventful day so far, I managed to lock myself out for a while fortunately one of tennants came home and let me in. I've got my hair cut and I'm really pleased with it they done a great job and I'll definately be going back. Then I went and had my chest waxed, OMG did it hurt much worse than the other parts of my upper torso. Still it apparently gets easier after having it done the first time. So I'm hoping thats true lol, I'm going to have a lay down now for 30 minutes before starting to get ready, I'm meeting my friend up town at 6pm.

Day 2 ... Cont

Had a very nice breakfast earlier of strawberries, raspberries, a nectarine and a clementine and feeling good on it 3 hours later. So I'm not going to have a mid morning snack I'm going to wait till later on after my trip into Croydon. I'm enjoying having a chilled day and not having to work.

Day 2... early

I have a day off today but I'm still up early. I have got some choices to make last night I grazed on 3 apples, a soya yogurt and some chicken if I continue on this path it won't take long to put the weight back on. I have got to take responsibility for what I eat I luv my new look but I'm going to have to work at keeping it. I'm going to start shopping online and only buying what I require to eat and no extras. Also I'm going to make the choice of no more garage visits, these are where I buy extras and I obviously need to take a break from doing this.

First post

Ok here we go day 1, I'm just starting week 5 of maintenance and up to now Ive lost a further 8 and a half pounds on top of the 91 pounds I lost on LL. I went to the doctors today and he was simply amazed at the weight I'd lost and was asking lots of questions about LL.
I have to be honest I've over eaten today I think, Its the first week of 2 protein meals and I had wild boar dried sausage with salad for lunch and then I had a small tin of tuna with salad tonight the problem is I've been grazing on fruit all afternoon, because its in the fridge I tend to go grab it I've eaten a whole bunch of grapes.
This is very much to do with my problem with shopping I definately over shop. I went last night on the way home from my weigh in and I've ended up with 2 punnets of strawberries, 2 punnets of raspberries, a punnet of necterines and a big bunch of grapes. So I'm going to start shopping online and just buy what I actually need for a while and see if that is a good strategy. If I haven't got it I cant eat it. I'm intending to post on here everyday, I've got tomorrow off and I'm going to a proper hair dressers for a hair cut and hopefully a change of style also I'm booked into have my chest waxed. I really hated how hairy my upper torso was and have had my back,shoulders and stomach already down, so just my chest which I've been warned will be pretty painful. I'l post tomorrow how I get on lol.
I'm off to deliver a pc tonight and visit my brother. Looking forward to seeing my neice, nephew and my sister in law as well. We are planning a birthday bbq for my dad on saturday I just got everything crossed for the weather.
Please feel free to post any tips or comments you may have, all help gratefully recieved :-)